From Cool to Lame in 20 seconds.

How one scene in Star Wars Revenge of the Sith went from the coolest point in the entire series…to the worst. 

Halfway through Star Wars:  Revenge of the Sith, the idiot Jedi have finally figured out that Palpatine is the Sith Lord they’ve been looking for (and only because he decided to tell his boyfriend Anakin).  Basically, the entire prequel trilogy has been leading up to this point, when Palpatine steps up to become the terror of the universe.  When I saw this colossal moment happen in the movie theater, I almost shit my pants with excitement.   

Mace Windu (Sam Jackson) decides to grab 3 other Jedi Masters (the supercool Kit Fisto and 2 other tough looking dudes) and go choke a bitch.  Finally.  We have seen Sam Jackson be a badass for about a minute in Attack of the Clones when he cut off Jango Fett’s head.  Now we are about to see him lose his shit and go nasty on the Emperor.  And even better, three other Jedi are going to battle too.  Just the fact that 4 Jedi decide to flock together shows us how tough it’s going to be to fight Palpatine. 

The Jedi show up in Palpatine’s office and tell him what’s up.  YES!  Notice all 4 Jedi are looking right at Palpatine.  The two dudes on the left have their sabers in a mid guard position (This is important.  More on this later.) 

Palpatine has a lightsaber!  Hell yeah.  Wasn’t sure if he used one, this is going to be amazing!

Even though he’s wearing a dress and spinning around like a sex toy, the Emperor looks pretty scary! 

And here’s where it all goes wrong.  Take a moment to observe the 2 Jedi on the left.  They are both still looking straight at Palpatine.  They are Jedi MASTERS.  Palpatine may have just done some crazy force corkscrew move, but they are ready to fight.

Wait a minute.  How did Palpatine get past the first dude on the left?  He’s holding his green lightsaber and just watching.  Palpatine steps up and attacks the Jedi who looks like Lieutenant Worf from Star Trek Next Generation.  Worf decides to basically turn his body sideways and hold his lightsaber away from Palpatine, ensuring he won’t be able to block any attack. 

And Palpatine stabs Worf like a boss.  Meanwhile, what the fuck is the other Jedi doing?  He’s standing behind Palpatine, holding his green lightsaber like a baseball player waiting for a good pitch. START SWINGING MOTHERFUCKER! Palpatine’s lightsaber is embedded in Worf’s crotch.  If you strike now, you win! 

But he doesn’t, and quickly dies.  Oh well.  At least the 2 awesome Jedi are still alive.

Now look at this shit.  Palpatine and Sam Jackson are trying to touch their tips together, leaving Kit Fisto in the middle of the love sandwich.  Look where Fisto’s blade is. Cool.  Just slice Palpatine in half and you win!  Seriously, just do it before Palpatine…

Eventually blocks your ass.  Kit Fisto had his blade in the kill zone, and waited for Palpatine to block him.  Super Lame. 

Fisto quickly dies.  At this point, Palpatine and Sam Jackson engage in a stupid looking duel.  Sam Jackson wins, but instead of cutting Palpatine’s head off, he waits around so he can talk it over with Anakin.  What should have been the coolest part of the entire prequel trilogy turned into hot garbage.  And yes, I know they explained in the book how Palpatine easily killed them, but it doesn’t matter because the movie still has to make sense while you watch it.  My huge lightsaber boner has fizzled out.  – Eric

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Movies + Video Games = The Jumpmen Podcast
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